Kay White is an expert in communication and is a regular contributor to the Jenrick Blog and Digest Newsletter. Here is another superb article from Kay to help you enhance the effectiveness of your communication…
“Now, what you should do is…”
“Well, it’s obvious, you should do this, then you should do that and then you should tell them you’ve done it”.
What you should do and what you want to and actually do are often very different things. Even if the advice we’ve been given is spot on, the fact that we’ve been told we ‘should’ do it is often the very reason we don’t follow it or take it on. So if that’s the reaction we have, it’s the reaction that others will have when we ‘should’ all over them. Hmmm.
There’s something innately irritating to be told we should be doing something. It implies – this is the subtle, savvy part to understand – it implies that we’re not doing something right and that the other person is wiser that we are. It’s implicit that we’ve missed a trick and they haven’t. That they know better exactly what will work for us. Grrrrr.
That’s the feeling that so often comes up. Well, in reality, we know best – better than anyone – what works for us and as we all know, making a decision ourselves and then sticking to it is always more powerful than carrying out other people’s advice. We own the outcome and, as such, are responsible for the result. (Or, in this case, response-able).